All That He Wants
by Sheyna-osirissystemlady
Summary: SJ. Jack is in the cell in Ba'als fortress, wishing he could see her face and get back home.
1. Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way

**All That He Wants**

**Chapter 1 – Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way**

**Spoilers** – Abyss, Divide and Conquer

**Rating** – Season 6

**Season** –Any.

**Pairings** – Do you really have to ask? (Sam and Jack just in case you didn't get that).

**Disclaimer** – I do not own Stargate SG-1, its characters or The Calling, but if someone is offering to give me Alex Band then I won't say no. J

**Author's Notes** – I've seen this as a comedy and as something serious and touching, and couldn't make up my mind which to do. I decided to leave it until I had time to write and see what mood I was in. I'm in a lovey-dovey mood, so it's the serious version. If you want the funny one to be written you'll just have to ask me when you review this one. (Hint, hint: REVIEW). Written in Jack's POV.

Well he can't sleep at night,

And he can't do what's right.

It was all because she came into his life.

It's a deep obsession taking up his time.

Every night since I met her I've been unable to sleep properly. I half sleep, but my dreams are riddled with thoughts of her. Just what she's done during the day, the things she says in meetings; which is funny, because I don't really listen in meetings so I shouldn't be able to remember what she says. I normally spend the time subtly staring at her. Watching the shapes her mouth makes when she speaks, the slight gestures she makes and how seemingly unimportant things can make her smile. I made her smile in the briefing today. Then as I float towards the edge of sleep, so close to deep sleep when I wake I manage to feel refreshed, I dream of what will never be. Not what she has done in the day, but what I wish our lives were like: together. I think about her as I fall asleep, when I am asleep and when I'm wide awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep because I'm not complete.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't…. I can't do anything about these feelings. I can't tell her I dream about her. I can't tell her I can't sleep because I'm afraid that if I do I won't dream about her, just for one night and those hours would be wasted. I can't because I'm her CO. Her Commanding Officer. The Colonel to her Major. But I can't go on living like this. I should be with her. I know I should. If I do nothing I'm doing the right thing. But I'm not. I love her so much and it hurts not to be able to tell her. If I tell her I'm doing the right thing. But I'm not. I'd be risking her career and mine. I know she feels the same way. We've got a connection. We know what the other is thinking. Plus she told me when we did that zatarc thing. But whatever I do it's the wrong thing.

I can't help but think that if she'd never come into the Stargate Programme this wouldn't have happened. But if she hadn't I may never have met her and my life would be…… nothing. I'm glad. I am. I just wish I could tell her how I feel. I wish when I were in the field, fighting, I could have just one moment to stop and see her smiling back at me. I wish when I was in danger I could see her encouraging me to go on. I wish I could see her now, when I most need to. I think about her sure, but I can't see her. I need to. I need to see her face, to know that she cares enough for me to try and get back to her. But I try so hard and I can't. I can still hear her voice, her laugh, her smile, but I can't see her clearly any more. I love her!

**Author's Note's** – So, what do you think? Let me know or you're not getting any more chapters.


	2. Won't Believe

**All That He Wants**

**Chapter 2 – Won't Believe**

**Author's Notes** – Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I appreciate all the kind comments. Jacks back on Earth in the infirmary. Hope you enjoy this chapter and review lots and lots.

She's all that he wants, she's all that he needs,

She's everything he just won't believe.

Take away his doubt, turn him inside out,

Then she can see what he's been dying to say.

But things don't always turn out that way.

Lying in a hospital bed, barely awake and all I can think of is _her_. I only just made it back alive. I haven't opened my eyes. I haven't seen _her_. I've been awake for an hour but I can't open my eyes. I won't. Not until I know that the first thing I see when I open them is _her_. I still can't see _her_ face. I can't really hear _her_ voice any more, but I'm not worried. I'm back. I'm home. _She'll_ be here. Then I can open my eyes and burn _her_ face into my mind forever. Listen to _her_ speak just to hear _her_ voice. That's why I made it back. That's why I survived. So I could see _her_ face clearly before I let go. But now I'm back I don't want to let go. I want to see _her_ forever. I need to see _her_.

I keep hearing a woman's voice, but I know it's not _her_. I know I recognise the voice but it's not _her_ so it doesn't matter. I hear a man's voice, talking quietly to the woman. But he doesn't matter either. The woman's voice gets closer. She says something that doesn't register immediately. But I hear the last word loudly, clearly.

"Sam."

The woman sounded excited. She was speaking about _her_. What did she say? She says it again.

"Get Sam!"

They're bringing _her_ down to the infirmary. _She's_ coming down here. I'm gonna see _her_ again! I want desperately to open my eyes. To see _her_ standing there but I can't take the risk. I can't risk seeing someone stood there and it not being _her_. So I wait.

A few moments later I hear footsteps and the woman's voice calling someone closer to me. She says _her_ name again.

"Sam."

What did she say?

"He's conscious, Sam. He's just being a stubborn son of a bitch and not opening his eyes. Aren't you Colonel?"

She's wrong. I'm not being stubborn. Not this time. I'm just waiting for _her_. I need to know it's _her_ before I open my eyes. It has to be _her_. Just _her_. Then I hear _her_ voice.

"Give us a few minutes Janet."

_She's_ been crying. I can hear it immediately. I know it's _her_. I didn't remember _her_ voice, but I know! The other woman speaks and I hear footsteps fading away. There's silence for a moment, then one word. Just one. Quiet. I almost didn't hear it. I might even have imagined it, but I know I didn't.

"Jack."

I open my eyes. At last. My eyes are out of focus, but I can see _her_ clearly. There are tears running down her cheeks. I want to tell her. I want her to know how I feel. How when Daniel left me it was the thought of her that kept me alive. Kept me going. But I daren't. I try. She just keeps looking at me. I open my mouth. I try to talk, but the tears I didn't realise I was crying are stopping me from talking. Choking what I want to say. She gives me a look. Longing? Then she speaks.

"God, sir….I….I….we missed you so much!"

And the moments gone. I guess things don't always turn out the way we plan.

**Author's Note** – Don't worry. That's not the end. There are two more verses of the song yet. review if you want more.


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